Powerful Emotions

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” -Ephesians 6:12

I do think that this is my fight, but I also know that it is only part of my fight. I do wrestle with a power that is inside of me, in the sense I wrestle with my mind, my emotions.

I attempted suicide twice in my life. Both times were over the emotions tied to the thought that I was not good enough.

My first attempt was when the love of my life could no longer be with me because her parents decided that I was not good enough. For years I had been indoctrinated in the thought that I was not good enough, by my father abandoning, by my foster parents telling me no one wanted me that’s why he left, and by the kids in school telling me that I was ugly and unwanted.

Losing the one person I thought loved me was the final straw. The second time was in a lonely abandon building when I thought I could never stop using drugs.

Both of these suicidal events happened because of lies and evil being fed into my emotions. I’d love to figure out how God rescued me, but I may never know in this lifetime. The important fact is that God gave me the tools to not only figure out that these emotions were wrong, but to see that, in Him, I was loved and I had more power than the powers that were assaulting my emotions.

I want to make these facts a little easier to digest, but first I want to say that I know that everyone that reads this may not be to extreme emotional distress and despair as I was back then. I also want you to know that this information is for everyone who might wrestle with emotions on any level.

Healthy emotions are the best things we can experience on earth. This is important to know; A person with a healthy emotional life is richer than people rich with money but poor emotionally. You’ve seen the stories of rich celebrities dying by their own hand.

Lack of emotional maturity also known as emotional intelligence creates decision making and social problems in areas that may go unnoticed at first, or they may build up to be alarmingly noticeable.

Low Emotional Intelligence or EQ problems can create problems like, over-spending, risky behavior, porn addictions, heavy drinking or even, alcoholism, a wicked tongue, veiled evil acts towards others or just outright mean acts, all forms of racism and prejudices. The list goes on and it’s all because of unchecked EQ. Low emotional intelligence might also play a part in social anxiety

Difficulty identifying and managing emotions can show up as a symptom of some mental health conditions, including depression and borderline personality disorder. 

What Are the Main Causes of Depression?

·       Abuse. Physical, sexual, or emotional abuse can make you more vulnerable to depression later in life.

·       Age. People who are elderly are at higher risk of depression.

·       Certain medications.

·       Ongoing conflict.

·       Death or a loss.

·       Life threatening illnesses

·       Gender issues.

·       Major events.

·       living in an abusive or uncaring relationship,

·       long-term isolation or loneliness,

·       prolonged work stress 

I highlighted these items because I am very familiar with some of these emotional triggers. I am aware that they can be connected to poor emotional health.

I suffered from both Emotional Health problems and Low Emotional Intelligence. I tell you this to let you know that I still have thoughts of suicide, low self-esteem, social awkwardness, I battle depression, and I’m also an introvert who has to live a public life at times.

Okay, I’ve given you all of the bad news so I could give you the Good News. If I can overcome my emotional challenges then so can you. This is how I did it.

There’s lots of information out there by psychiatrist, psychologist and therapist, it’s all good stuff, but I did something a little different.

I got sober and went to church. The church I went to is a Bible believing, mission-oriented church. The word of God straightened out my thinking about God and people. Because the church was mission oriented the people I saw and interacted with was “Living what they Preached,” and that helped a lot. It was the perfect place to learn to how socially interact without getting hurt repeatedly.

Next biggest thing was, I learned Empathy. I learned the incredible value of empathizing, without compromising who I was becoming in Christ. The corrupted emotions I was experiencing before almost always made me change who I was to be more like the person I was attaching myself to emotionally. Now I could love and be true to myself as well.

How I learned these new emotional health tips so quickly and so thoroughly was because they were being modeled. Modeling is the best teacher in EQ.

There are many more ways to increase your Emotional Health and EQ, here is one more, ‘Active Listening.” This skill was modeled in church as well. People listened to me and I learned to listen to them. Even the pastor would stop, make eye contact and listen to every word I had to say. Everyone’s responses to what I said made it evident that they were listening. They even remembered what we previously talked about the next time we met. I learned to do this to others and my emotions matured and grew stronger.

I began to organize my emotions; I could respond and not react to my emotions. The good emotions I could enjoy in healthy ways. With a strong EQ, I can have fun without getting in trouble. I never could do that before, fun equaled trouble. Good emotions can get us into trouble if we let them control us and we carry them too far. So, I respond to joy, knowing where all joy comes from. I like to ride my bike off-road, it’s fun, but I don’t ride it beyond my abilities just because I’m enjoying myself.

Bad emotions can either get us into trouble too. The Bible can help, 1 Samuel 30, verse 6 says, “but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.” You can’t know what this is until you know it. This principle took me miles into developing my emotional intelligence. Even if I am hurting, I pray. I can work around the house in my garden or I can take a ride on my bike and stop to look at the beauty and wonder of God’s creation. Sit on the beach and read my Bible or some other good book. How I respond to depression or sadness determines how much power I give it to take power from me. If I don’t give it the power to harm me then it dissipates. It moves out of the way for joy. God gives me the power to manage my emotions intelligently.